Be The One You Needed

They say
that you should become
the person that you needed
as a child.

And so I try to think
who would that person be?

She would be someone who was
quiet and gentle
a good listener
who did not judge
who knew what it felt like
to be strange
to see things
to know things
to be misunderstood
and ridiculed
someone who understands.
Who knows.
Who weaves
who sees through the walls that I built
who draws me out
knowing that I want to talk about it
even though I say I don't.
Someone who understands fear
desperate fear
worry
and anxiety
someone who has hidden
for far too long
afraid
and yet

has pushed past the fear
broken down the walls
gained the strength
and the courage
to step forward
and own it all
ALL
every
last
tricky dirty secret
someone who has shone a light
into every dark corner
and swept all the cobwebs up
to knit a comforter
to wrap around
the next generatiom
of weird and wonderful
scared and tired
those who are afraid
to close their eyes at night
and equally loathe
to open them again in the morning
onto a world
that does not understand
or accept them.

Someone who can teach
all those things that have gone
unlearned
for generations.
Someone who speaks
to the wind and the water
the stones and the trees
the spirits and the creatures
who sings to the moon
and dances with the unknown
wild and primal
where she used to be caged
strong
where she used to be weak
bold
where she used to be quiet
who draws things forth
from the otherworlds
and translates them into this one.

Someone who
makes
crafts
cooks
talks with her hands
and her art
as well as her
words
and finally
someone who is not afraid
to stand up
to push back
to protect those she loves
guardian
and goddes
dreamwalker
sage
spider
and
hawk
scrythe and seer
dancer and weaver
death and rebirth
like the Dark Mother
THIS is who I needed
SHE is who I need to be
who I will be
who I am
becoming

© 2016 Cassandra Wolf

 

Conversation with an Awakening Seer

Photo Credit: Misty Woods by Barry Chignell via Flickr

 

Come. Sit by me on this mossy log. and let us talk. No, not about me--this time I want to talk about you, about the way you see things, things that most other people cannot see.

Do you see things happen, in dreams or in visions, that later unfold in this world, this reality that we all share?

Do you look at people and just know things about them? Can you hear their thoughts or feel their emotions? Is this world sometimes so noisy with other people's thoughts you can hardly stand it? Or so full of the feelings of other people you find it hard to maintain your own peace and happiness?

Do you see things other people do not seem to see? Other creatures, people, and colors? Do you hear haunting music that seems to have no source? Or do you see landscapes, entire worlds and other realities, sometimes on the edges of your vision or overlapping this reality, this world? Or are there other worlds that you can lose yourself in, complete with people and creatures or plants and rocks you can have long conversations with, by speaking or simply by thinking?

You are not crazy. And you are not alone.

You are a seer, my friend. Oh, there are many other words you can choose to call yourself, and if you find one that you like more than seer then by all means claim it for your own. Find a word that describes you and keep it, hold it, identify with it, and when you are ready, use it to describe yourself to others.

Be aware that what you are will make many people uncomfortable. Some people will ridicule you and laugh at you. You may be told you are crazy or that you are "making it up." You may be called a liar, a pretender, or other things far worse.

And it is here that I want to hug you, my friend, for I have been there and experienced all these things. And I want to tell you to be strong. You have a wonderful talent that not many people have, although more are born with it each day. You shouldn't have to deny it or hide it. You should be proud to be a seer.

But you may wish to choose the people you tell very carefully. You may wish to keep it to yourself, confiding in only a few that are close to you. Or you may want to tell many people, broadcasting your abilities widely. Again, the choice is yours. Do not be ashamed of what you are, and do not make claims that are beyond your abilities.

Most of all, learn to trust your talents. And use them! This is your gift and if it helps you to find friends or avoid danger, comfort people or find a better job, then by all means use it. You weren't given this gift to ignore it or deny it. Use your abilities to enhance your life and make it better.

 But be aware, my friend, that being a seer does not make you a witch, a shaman, a dreamwalker, or a Farer, as we call them in my tradition. There is much work and training to become one of these. Does being a seer make it easier to be a Farer or a witch? Oh, yes. It can make your training much easier. Or it can make it far more difficult, if you choose to mistake instinct and gifts for training and knowledge.

Take time to learn how to shield yourself so that other people's thoughts and emotions do not disturb your own. Learn to guard your energy so it is not drained away by others. Learn to recognize when your energy is getting low, when you have given too much to others, and retreat. Learn what replenishes your energy, what fills you up, and do it often. And learn to recognize false teachers who empty your pockets or your energy reserves and give nothing in return, and avoid them.

You are beautiful, my seer, young or old. You are amazing and gifted beyond most of your peers.You can see magical things that are hidden from those around you. You, and those like you, are the ones who can rise above the mundane and build bridges between the worlds.

You have a marvelous adventure ahead of you, if you choose to embrace it.

Dreaming the Nine Steps to Take Back the Earth

I am a dreamwalker, a Walker-Between-Worlds. Often, in the dreamtime, I receive messages or have contact with the Shaeda (spirit-people.) Sometimes the dreams are very clear and I remember them for decades, and other times I remember only the message I was given, as if it was "downloaded" while I slept.

Such was the dream, five years ago, wherin I was given the Nine Steps. I remember nothing of the dream, but I awoke and immediately scribbled down the Nine Steps. There they were, simple and complete, a gift from the Otherworlds.

Ever since then I have tried to write about the Nine Steps. Although the terminology will be familiar to those who follow the Thornish Pagan tradition, some concepts require explanation for a more general pagan audience.

More than that, the steps seem to beg for exercises...a plan, if you will, to help you complete them. And every time I try to write these exercises, I become hopelessly bogged down and frustrated.

You see, I am not one of those pagans who follows elaborate written rituals and repeats someone else's badly rhymed and metered poetry masquerading as spells. I believe that most of the "witchcraft 101" books are written to make money and gather followers, not with a genuine desire to teach people what it is to be pagan--to interact with the Shaeda and the otherworlds in the way that is most comfortable for them.

I can go on about that topic for a long time--but not right now. The problem is, every time I try writing about the Nine Steps, it feels like I am writing one of those "wicca for beginners" books that have glutted the market in the last few decades, and I quit in disgust.

The Nine Steps, however, will not rest. They demand to be written, shared, and performed. And now is the time, if any, for pagans to learn the Nine Steps...and take back the Earth.

So I have decided to share them here on the blog, and elsewhere, despite my inner objections. If I can, I will write guidelines to describe some ways the Nine Steps can be achieved. Perhaps I may, in the future, lead a series of online workshops where we can work on the Nine Steps together and share the ways we make them work.

Committing

Like Popeye, I am what I am. I am what I have always been and always will be. I am a dreamwalker, a diviner, a walker-between-worlds.

I have traveled many orbits around this star, and for most of those I have denied what I am, tried to hide the gifts I have been given. I have tried to pass for "normal," tried to fit in with society's expectations while always questioning them, or not understanding them.

I didn't understand, as a teenager, how everyone around me could be so wrapped up in dating and football games and the internecine clique-wars in high school. How could they ignore the worlds that danced at the corners of their vision, the strange and beautiful ones who beckoned from beyond? How could they be so focused on such mundane things? I felt like a failure, like an alien in their midst. I could not ignore the Otherworlds, could not escape their draw.

I was well into my 20's before I realized the truth - that they weren't ignoring these things, that other people weren't so much better than I was at dealing with these intrusions.

They didn't see them. They couldn't see the Otherworlds shimmering so tantalizingly close.

Now I wasn't a failure, unable to cope. I was crazy...or so I thought.

But now I know that I am not crazy. It is the way I was born, perhaps the way I chose to be before I was born. It is a gift, not a curse. It is something I must face, something I must commit to being, to living, to doing. It is not enough to live in an uneasy tension with what I am. It is time for me to embrace that which I am, to begin to live fully in this body I inhabit, and to begin the work I came here to do.